How i became me

How l became me HrtOfKnght@aol.com l've always been the sensitive caring type, but it takes more than that to be able to cherish the things that l do now. That came from my best friend Renae. l've had a thing for her since before she got married in 85 & we've been best friends ever since. We lost contact for 3 years until 96 when her husband moved an hour north of me to be a navy recruiter in Longview Washington. Anyway, she called me and we spent 5 hours on the phone hearing how bad her marriage was, and l promised to help her save it, or help her thru a divorce. She came to visit on a couple occasions and though were just friends we trusted each other enough to sl**p in the same bed, but she confessed that she knew l'd been in love with her for years, though l'd never said word. We've enjoyed long chats about what we like and one of hers is mutual masturbation. Though she was about to separate she was still married & we were just friends, she planned a special weekend to satisfy our mutual curiosities She visited, and we dressed up and went dancing and flirting. She had become agoraphobic & l enjoyed getting her out. When we got back to my place we nervously relaxed into our separate seats to do something l've always considered private. Mostly because l thought only people alone had to do that. LOL l have to admit that being watched was very erotic to me. This was in March of 1997, but she didn't know l'd not slept w/ anyone since 1990. WOW! Wishing l'd had the chance to be this intimate w/ her for 13 yrs gave me a release like l've never had. My orgasm reached from my recliner to her chest about 10 ft away & l think we were both equally shocked, and pleased. The best part was the next morning though. She had to get up early the next morning to make a phone call, and knowing she had a hard time waking up l nibbled her neck to help *PERK* her up. Being the sexual idiot that l was l didn't realize that, that was her on button. but after the call l just desired to feel the closeness. She melted so fast that she was soaking wet & moaning in mere moments. My friendship with her is very special & l wouldn't want to hurt that in any way so instead of taking her, l nibbled, sucked & explored every part of her body. As l tasted her l picked up her toy, which by the way was my first time touching one. l refused to fuck her thinking that she melted too fast & l wanted to know that it wasn't just hormones wanting sex that she may regret later. So l made love to her w/ the toy & my tongue instead. l don't think l've ever seen a woman cum so much, or so explosively in my life, and that has always been very important to me. We have continued as lovers for a while after her divorce, but when she moved into her 1st home by herself she had promised herself to a man in Calif. that she met online. We couldn't have sex, but ended up on the floor for HOURS kissing, bumping, grinding, & just enjoying the sweet feeling of endless arousal. l have to say those are my 2 most cherished memories of intimacy, and l'd rather share that than get laid any day. Both are still best though, but given a choice l'd always prefer the beauty of intimate & passionate foreplay whether or not l get laid. Then there was my girlfriend Tammy who l tied to her bed, and basically let her baste from multiple toys strapped in and on her body while l made love to her for several hours w/ my hands & lips <evil grin> Between these two women, l've seen them cum from my sucking a neck, earlobe, & making love to their breasts. l've seen small orgasms, earthshaking explosions, multiple orgasms, and then there was my biggest revelation of all. While strapped, blindfolded to the bed & filled w/ toys, Tammy fell into something like a trance where she couldn't even respond to my voice, but only moved slightly to my touch. A woman has the ability when properly loved, respected & pleasured to go far beyond the simple arousal a man can experience into what's almost like an out of body experience where the pleasure she feels literally enveloped her heart & soul. From a man's perspective, it's like being invited to an ancient temple & allowed to partake in a sacred ritual that few men are ever allowed to see, Mostly because most men lack the love & respect for woman to even be able to find the damn door & too stupid to know how to turn the knob even when it stares them in the face. lt's made me feel like my own orgasms are totally insigicant to what she's able to feel & enjoy. l could just sit & enjoy seeing that for hours wishing l could trade places with a woman just for 1 day & feel the depth of her sexuality & passion. I can't do that but l can share it with her anytime l wish by how l worship her body & soul when l make love, and it's become the center of my own sexuality to give of myself completely in this way. l'm still searching for a wife so l can devote the rest of my life to sharing this with her & only her, blending our souls forever in the beauty that can only be found in monogamy. l also truly cherish that feeling of being alive that comes with extreme arousal, and l've come to savor that wonderful feeling & not wishing to throw that beautiful sexual high away by jumping into my own satisfaction. The true joy of making love isn't the orgasm, but the hopefully long & winding trail you take together getting there. These are experiences very much worth sharing in print or in person. l think l understand why many Europeans say Americans are sexually immature. lt'd because we think of just getting laid so much that we've totally by-passed the sensuality of true lovemaking. lt may be hard to believe but the best memories of sex l've ever had were the two times l never got laid. l say to hell w/ getting off and try savoring the passion that we were given the ability to feel.